This case study contains sensitive material, including discussion of physical abuse and suicide, which may be triggering for some readers. If this case study raises issues for you, please reach out to Qlife, Lifeline or Beyond Blue.
Samantha* grew up in Sydney in a religious household. Everyone in her family was very involved in the church, attending several days a week. Samantha also attended a Christian school.
As a child, Samantha felt there was something different about her. As she approached her teenage years, she developed a crush on a girl in her class and this really scared her. At church, Samantha had heard that gay people were deviants, paedophiles and possessed by demons. Once, Samantha overheard a conversation between her dad and a man at church who said that he had prayed over a “homosexual” that had come in off the streets and that he brought “seven demons out of him”. This made Samantha terrified that she had a demon inside of her.
Samantha didn’t say anything about her sexuality until she was 15. When she told her mum, her mum wasn’t surprised. Her mum said they had been very worried and had spoken to Samantha’s teachers about their concerns.
Samantha’s parents encouraged her to explore “healing” through the church. Samantha arranged to speak with her pastor, who prayed over her. The pastor told her that she could be “healed”. He organised for Samantha to see other religious people who told her that being LGBTQA was a “form of brokenness”.
Night after night, Samantha would pray to God and ask Him to heal her, and if He couldn’t heal her, to make sure she didn’t wake up. She went to a “deliverance ministry”, which was like an exorcism, where she had to list the names of the people that she had sexual contact with, or had a crush on.
When Samantha was in her early twenties, she moved to Canberra to participate in an ex-gay support group. The organisers of this group held individual and group sessions that were designed to supress homosexuality and encourage Samantha and other participants to pursue heterosexual relationships.
When this didn’t work, Samantha became extremely strict with herself. She avoided anything that could be seen as remotely tied to her sexuality, even stopping herself from looking at, or interacting with, other girls unless necessary. She thought that if she couldn't ‘pray the gay away’, maybe she could ‘starve’ the gay out of herself by suppressing her sexuality.
By the time Samantha was in her mid-twenties, she felt tortured and broken. One day, her mum took her out for coffee and said, “Samantha, you’ve became a shell of yourself. You’ve stopped laughing and singing. Dad and I have been researching this, and have you ever thought that maybe the reason God hasn’t healed you is because there’s nothing wrong with you?”
Samantha was gobsmacked.
While she finally felt accepted by her parents, it would take many more years before Samantha truly accepted herself and felt comfortable with her sexuality.
Today, Samantha has a successful career, is in a committed relationship, and works to help other survivors of conversion practices.
* Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.
Under the Conversion Practices Ban Act 2024, it is against the law to try to change or suppress someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
Samantha’s pastor engaged in a conversion practice by praying over her and performing a ‘deliverance ministry’ in an attempt to change or suppress Samantha’s sexual orientation.
The organisers of the ex-gay support group engaged in a conversion practice by running sessions that were designed to change or suppress Samantha’s sexual orientation.
Reports can be made to Anti-Discrimination NSW about conversion practices that occurred on or after 4 April 2025. If the practices began before 4 April 2025 but continued past this date, a report can still be made.
Although formal complaints cannot be made about historical conversion practices from before 4 April 2025, Anti-Discrimination NSW welcomes you to share your story. We can guide you towards resources and support services for ongoing healing and assistance in navigating any challenges related to your experience. Sharing your story also allows Anti-Discrimination NSW to gather information on conversion practices.
Formal complaints about conversion practices may lead to conciliation between the people involved, targeted education or further investigation.
Read more about conversion practices or make a report.
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